Our Birth Story — the adventure decade

Welcome Joey

On March 28, 2023, at exactly 9:10 pm, our precious Joseph Theodore was born weighing in at 8 pounds, 7 ounces and 20.5 inches long. Our world instantly changed for the better with Joey earthside. I’ve experienced more love and fulfillment in the past few days than ever before in my life. What a miracle! We’re parents!

Preparing for Birth, Self-Education, and Products Used

Leading up to birth, I loved reading and listening to positive birth stories. They had such a profound impact on me as I envisioned myself giving birth and becoming a mother, hence why I am choosing to share the intimate details of our story. Specifically, I loved listening to The Birth Hour and all the different backgrounds and perspectives on birth. They even had an episode on dual military parents who had a natural childbirth; you can find anything. I prayed for and manifested an easy, unmedicated “natural” childbirth because everything I read and listened to told me it was the right decision for my body. No birth is “better” than the other, but experiencing all the natural physical and emotional stages of labor and birth was something I longed for and it turned out to be the most empowering time of my life. I looked at birth like an athletic event and trained and mentally prepared accordingly. And let me tell you, it felt like running a marathon, but I was as ready as I could possibly be.

For physical training, I worked with my friend Karlyn who specializes in Pregnancy and Postpartum Athleticism. This generally consisted of 3 lifts and 2 cardio days a week, which I modified depending on how I was feeling. I loved how it was tailored to my week of pregnancy and workouts focused on the muscle groups I would need for birth. I chose to stop lifting 4 weeks before my due date and continue with mobility, stretching, body weight exercises, and lots of walking. I can’t recommend working with Karlyn or a pregnancy/postpartum athleticism coach enough! Get that pelvic floor right! It makes all the difference.

For mental preparation, in addition to The Birth Hour, I listened to Becoming Mama and Is It Normal? podcasts religiously. These podcasts focused on what was going on each week of my pregnancy and made me look forward to Monday mornings in the car on the way to work. I learned about my baby’s growth, symptoms I was having, and the different stages and phases of birth in a really digestible way. Overall, the podcasts helped me connect with Joey and really tune into everything I was feeling in my body. The best book I read in preparation, hands down, was Babies Are Not Pizza: They’re Born, Not Delivered. Rebecca Dekker advocates for Evidence Based Birth and backs all her claims with clinical studies. Her book really opened my eyes to my choices surrounding birth, which was incredibly empowering. I was not at the mercy of heath care providers. I was in control of my own experience, what happens to me and my baby, what touches and goes into my body, etc. Along the same lines, Drew and I read Husband Coached Childbirth by Dr. Robert Bradley. This books specifically advocates for “natural” childbirth and focuses on the active role the father can take in the birth process. I’m not going to lie, sometimes Dr. Bradley sounds a little like Dwight Schrute when he writes, but it’s all truth! I’m not going to go into all the reasons I think unmedicated, natural childbirth is the way to go because for some it isn’t. What I do want to say is: be proactive about educating yourself prior to so you can give informed consent (or no consent!) for everything that goes on in your experience. Then, write everything you want in a birth plan (we also translated ours into German since I delivered in a German hospital). Going through the process of making the plan is so helpful in forcing you to make decisions.

As far as products, it’s easy to get caught up in consumerism and listen to all the old wives tales that claim they help induce labor, expedite labor, prevent stretch marks, etc. I took everything with a grain of salt, but hey! I had Joey one day early which is not super common for a first time mom. Here’s what I did:

34 weeks: started perineal massage 3x a week, baths 4-5 times a week, and a gallon of water a day (Products: oil, wand)
35 weeks: really doubled down on breathing, mobility, and stretching: deep squats, cat-cow, hip stretches, etc. I did these around lunch and before getting in bed
36 weeks: ate dates 2-3 dates a day (with peanut butter or blended in smoothies is best IMO), bouncing on the yoga ball (I sat on it about 4 hours a day in the mornings while I worked)
37 weeks: added evening primrose oil with my prenatal in the mornings, drank raspberry leaf tea 5-6 nights a week, ate fresh pineapple 3-4x a week for breakfast (products: evening primrose oil, labor prep tea)
38 weeks: walked daily (thanks for forcing me Ladybug!) usually 2-3 miles total
39 weeks: side-stepped every time I walked up the stairs

Stretch mark prevention: I know this one is all genetic, but I still fell prey to all the creams and oils. I think it did help to stay really moisturized and decreased itching. I got 3 stretch marks on my stomach, but pro tip: don’t neglect the boobs! That’s where I got most of mine.

Burt’s Bees Belly Butter // HATCH Belly Oil // MUTHA Body Butter // Babymoon Belly Balm

Early Signs of Labor

The beginning of March, I started working from home thanks to my amazing boss and leaders at work. It’s the little things like getting dressed, driving to work, and carrying groceries that really add up at the end of pregnancy. Working from home allowed me to sleep a little more, walk 2-3x a day with Ladybug, bounce on my yoga ball for half the day while I worked, and overall get into a more peaceful headspace.

On March 21st, I had my 39 week appointment (due date throughout pregnancy was March 29th) and was 1 cm dilated with a softened cervix. I was so excited because I was feeling so large and afraid I would go super late, but things were headed in the right direction. The doctor asked me if I wanted to do a membrane sweep, which I had researched I agreed to since I know she couldn’t do much with me being only one cm anyway. The doctor told me she believed that Joey would come by his due date!

On March 23rd, I lost my mucus plug at 5:15 pm. I was itching for labor to start soon but knew it could still be several days or even weeks and tried my best to remain patient. It felt like I was waiting at the starting line of the race for days and it was such a head game. I decided to double down on my pre labor routine to keep me occupied.

The next few days, Drew was off for “spring break” and we went on a long walk (3 miles) every day. It was so nice being outside and feeling like I was working toward something even though I was a quite uncomfortable.

Game Time

On March 27th, mild contractions started at 2 pm during a 3 mile walk with Drew. That entire night, I had inconsistent contractions that woke me up every 10-15 minutes and I got almost no sleep. I woke up exhausted but was happy Drew got rest all night. I knew I would need him.

The morning of March 28th was really mentally difficult for me because I wasn’t sure if I was in false labor and if all the contractions that previous night were productive or not. Drew (shoutout to the best/most prepared birth coach) said we could either try to relax and slow them down or ramp them up. Since I was tired from not sleeping and feeling a little down, I took a bath and was able to rest for a few hours because my contractions slowed to about every 20-30 minutes. I felt really in tune with my body and that it was doing what I guided it to do.

After a big lunch, my contractions picked up again and at 1 pm, my water broke while I was peeing and shot 5 feet across the bathroom! No one told me how much water there actually was and it kept leaking out during contractions for the next few hours at home (the Depends come in handy before the baby too!)

After my water broke, contractions really picked up and were getting to be consistently 3 minutes apart (our goal before heading to the hospital which is a few blocks away).

At 3:30 pm, I threw up and Drew calmly said “I think it’s time that we head into the hospital now.” So cute how gentle he was looking back at it.

At 4 pm we arrived at the hospital (5 min drive away) and normal business hours for triage were just ending so we had to walk all the way to the ER to check in and then up to labor and delivery, which I actually much preferred over a wheelchair to keep moving. Drew probably didn’t love it because he was carrying all our stuff and we were walking so slowly, haha. I had to stop in the hallway to hold on to the wall during contractions and remember people kind of looking at me funny while leaving work, but I honestly had zero embarrassment or care for my surroundings for the most part. I was in a game time headspace. Once we got up to labor and delivery, the one downer is they were required to place a saline lock as part of hospital protocol which was just annoying to have in my hand, especially when I was bracing and putting weight on my wrist. I pushed back (and Drew backed me up) but once they explained the protocol, we decided not to fight it.

At 4:30 pm I got checked and was 6-7 cm dilated!!! I was so excited because I mentally prepared for only being 1 or 2 cm. The midwife gave me an “attaboy” and it gave me so much confidence. The whole previous night was all worth something and I knew I would be meeting Joey sooner than later! Maybe even that day!

From 4:30-7:00 I labored with Drew at the hospital listening to music as the sun went down. It was really a special, intimate, bonding time because the staff left us alone unless we asked for something. I had the majority of pain in my lower back and Drew’s counterpressure and the warmth of his hands was such an intense relief. At 7 pm I asked to be checked again and was 8 cm. At this point, I was having a really hard time walking and contractions came as close as one minute apart. I decided to lay on my side to get some relief and rest and this ended up being my “final resting place.” At this point, I got put on continuous monitoring of my contractions and the baby’s heartbeat which was actually helpful because Drew could see my contractions coming and count up to the peak and then back down. This method so helped me get through these “transition” contractions.

At 8:00 there was a shift change and our new midwife, Sieglinde (zeek-lin-duh), burst into the room. She was a stalky, intense German woman in her 60s who spoke little English. Regardless of her intimidating presence, she was was exactly who I knew would get me to the other side of labor. She checked me and I was 9 cm. She told Drew to come get her once I felt the urge to push.

15 minutes later, I asked Drew to get her because I had the feeling our boy was coming! She told me to get through a few more contractions and to just push if I felt like it. Joey still had to travel down the canal and it was better to be nice and slow. Around 8:40, I started pushing on my side. Sieglinde and Drew coached me through bearing down like I had practiced and envisioned. As Joey got close, I got to reach down and feel his head and knew that I was only minutes away.

At 9:10, after about 30 minutes of pushing that felt like only 5, Joey made his entrance. I remember feeling instantly so relieved and full of joy. I asked Drew if everything looked okay and he told me I had not torn at all (my biggest fear) which was such a relief! I remember saying “Joey please cry!” and hearing the sweetest little peep and moments later a cry. They placed him on my chest and it was like I already knew him. They pointed out a knot in the cord which I kept picturing Joey tying by doing somersaults. After the chord was drained (white), Drew cut it and we got an hour of time together just the three of us. I passed my placenta (felt so satisfying coming out haha) and got to study it with the midwife, in awe of what sustained my son for the past 40 weeks. About an hour and a half after birth, I got up and went pee with no issues. I couldn’t believe how normal I felt.

Drew and I were transferred to the mother/baby recovery area and we asked if we could leave the next day if Joey and I were cleared by the pediatrician and OB. The nurse said she would set up the appointments for the morning which was so exciting because we just wanted to be in our own space. We spent the next few hours FaceTiming family and friends and got almost no sleep because we were on an absolute life high. Joey latched after a few tries right after birth, but I could tell something wasn’t quite right. Drew noticed his tongue as a little heart-shaped which indicated a tongue tie. The pediatrician cut the tongue tie the next morning during the discharge appointment and breastfeeding has gone so well since. My milk came in on day 4 (it’s just colostrum for the first few days). I was not expecting the amount of milk I had and had to pump a lot just to relieve the pressure. We started the freezer stockpile early, that’s for sure! While I’m writing this now (11 days postpartum), I can finally say I’m almost fully regulated with the amount Joey eats. What an incredible feeling to feed my baby! I can’t believe my body is just doing what it was supposed to.

Reflection

People break up labor stages and phases in different ways, but overall, I was in early labor for about 22 hours (contractions during the walk to my water breaking), active labor for about 7 hours (water breaking/consistent contractions to pushing), and pushed for 30 minutes. We were in the hospital for about 22 hours total. It was a fast, seamless, and dreamy birth, especially for the first baby! I still can’t believe it did it without pain medication, tearing, or interventions. I don’t take my experience for granted and know everyone says it, but I truly have never been more grateful for my body. And it is absolutely a team effort; Drew was with me through every contraction, Joey wiggled and twisted doing all the right things, and Sieglinde coached me and yelled at me in German when I needed it, haha. What a miracle. I am so grateful and can’t imagine it going any better. We are so proud to welcome Joey into our family.

After having such a beautiful experience, it’s hard not to be a staunch advocate for unmedicated, natural childbirth. What a privilege it is to bring life into the world. Less than two weeks later and I already forget the pain of it. Giving birth in Germany, especially my first time, was intimidating at first but I am actually so glad because they have a much more natural approach to labor and birth as opposed to the US. Never did we feel rushed, questioned for our choices, or pressured to schedule an induction. When we return home in a few years, I already have thought of exploring home birth or birth centers in the US to avoid the sterility and rigidity of many hospital centers. Overall, I am just so grateful. Grateful for my body, my amazing husband, the midwives that helped me, and most of all for our sweet, precious son Joseph. He’s already such a strong baby, holding his head up like a 3 month old at only two weeks! We are absolutely in love with him.

Thanks for reading my story, I hope it brought you hope and courage if you are expecting a baby yourself! I’m always here to answer questions or chat about birth. I know I’ll appreciate that I forced myself to write this all down in the future to remember the details. Time is a thief. Gonna go kiss my sweet baby now, ciao!